What paebaek is
Paebaek (폐백) is the post-wedding family ceremony of Korean tradition. It originated in Joseon-era weddings as the moment the bride was formally introduced to her husband’s family. Today the ceremony often includes both families, and Korean-American couples often blend the older patrilineal form with a more egalitarian modern version.
When paebaek happens
Immediately after the main Western-style wedding ceremony. The couple changes from white dress and tuxedo into hanbok, moves to a smaller room (or a designated corner of the venue), and the paebaek begins. The whole ceremony takes 20 to 30 minutes.
What gets worn
The bride wears wedding hanbok, traditionally a wonsam (long royal-court robe in deep red, blue, and gold). The groom wears a danryeongpo (a dark ceremonial robe with embroidered chest panels). See wedding hanbok.
The parents wear their own ceremonial hanbok. Sometimes additional family members wear hanbok too; this varies by family.
The rituals
The couple kneels and performs a deep bow (jeol) in front of the elders, beginning with the most senior. The elders, seated behind a low table, give blessings.
Then the elders toss dates (daechu, symbolizing sons) and chestnuts (symbolizing daughters) into the bride’s apron. The number caught is said to predict the number of children. It is mostly a joke now, but the photo is meaningful.
The rice wine and the piggyback
The couple shares rice wine (cheongju) poured from a single bottle into two cups. The shared cup symbolizes their joined lives. It is a quieter moment, often the still point of the ceremony.
At some paebaek, the groom piggybacks the bride around the room. This is supposed to symbolize him carrying her into their new life. It is funny and humanizing.
How Korean-American couples adapt paebaek
Many Korean-American couples include both sets of parents (not just the groom’s family) in the paebaek to make the ceremony egalitarian. Some skip the rice-wine portion if no one in the family drinks. Some bring both sets of grandparents into the room for the bow.
The point is honoring elders and acknowledging the joining of families. Within that spirit, the specific rituals are flexible.
If you are a non-Korean guest
Stay quiet, watch the bow, take photos only if invited. Paebaek is shorter and more emotional than the main ceremony, and the family appreciates respectful attention. See what to wear to a Korean family event.
Planning your paebaek
Eric works with brides, grooms, parents, and full wedding parties for paebaek commissions every wedding season. Tell him your wedding date and a few words about the family and we will start the conversation.
Talk to Eric
Looking for paebaek hanbok for your wedding? Eric at The Korean In Me sources authentic hanbok personally from Seoul, inspects every piece in San Mateo, and works with each customer on sizing and color. Contact Eric to inquire →