The invitation arrives and the reception is at five, with a small paebaek to follow. The first is a Western ceremony you already know how to dress for. The second is a private hanbok ceremony where the couple bows to their elders and the room slows down. What you wear has to work for both.
A Korean wedding rewards restraint more than personality. That means the palette question, the cash envelope, and the etiquette of the paebaek itself are worth thinking through before you pack. Below is what to wear to each room, what to bring, and how to sit through the bow ceremony without stepping on it.
If hanbok is the dress code
Some Korean families request that close relatives or wedding party members wear hanbok. If you are unsure whether the invitation expects hanbok, ask the host directly. It is a normal question.
Guest hanbok should not compete with the bride or the immediate family. Choose softer palette, sage, dusty lavender, ivory with a colored chima, or a calm two-tone set. Skip heavy gold embroidery and large hairpieces. A simple norigae and a small clutch is enough.
If you are a non-Korean guest invited to wear hanbok, it is welcomed, not awkward. Korean families are usually delighted that you took the time. Eric can guide you through what is appropriate for the family hosting the wedding. Reach out a few weeks ahead so we have time to source the right piece.
What to bring
Bring a white envelope with cash for the gift, called chukuigeum. The amount depends on your relationship to the couple. Friends usually give $50 to $100, closer relatives $100 to $300. The envelope is handed to the gift attendant at the reception entrance, not to the couple directly.
Skip a registry-style boxed gift unless you are family. Cash in a clean white envelope with your name written on the front is the standard.
The paebaek ceremony
If you are invited to the paebaek, expect a small private ceremony after the main reception. The couple wears wedding hanbok, often a wonsam for the bride and a danryeongpo for the groom. Guests sit on cushions around a low table.
You will likely watch the couple bow to the elders, share rice wine, and play the chestnut-throwing game where the elders toss dates and chestnuts into the bride's apron. The number caught is said to predict the number of children. It is a warm, often funny moment. Stay quiet, smile, take photos only if invited.
One quiet rule
Korean wedding etiquette rewards restraint. Dress slightly more formally than you think. Take fewer photos than you want. Eat the food. Bow when the elders bow. You will fit in.
If you are looking for hanbok for a wedding you are attending, see Eric's wedding hanbok collection or sizing guide.
Talk to Eric
Looking for authentic hanbok for your occasion? Eric at The Korean In Me works personally with each customer, sources every piece from Seoul, and inspects it in San Mateo before it ships. Send Eric a message or text (707) 718-3579.